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Christian Girl Living a Lie; Double Lives

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Christians are well known for being extremely harsh and judgmental to each other especially based on one's mistakes. This is mostly caused by the a bubble they box themselves in and it ends up bursting because they can't keep up with the life of 'perfection' they chose. This is a story a worshiper in the house of God, Nomsa Ngudu (fake name, to protect her dignity) who lived a fake life until what she did in secret started showing up. Nomsa used to sing her heart out at church conferences and gatherings, people would fall and experience the presence of the holy spirit while she on the other hand was nothing 'holy' because she drank, partied and had unprotected sex while unmarried. She says a lot of the preachings at her church would encourage them to live a holy life as they serve a holy God, but none of that made her think of changing the way she lived. "Talent or my gift worked wonders for me, I'd say. Because I knew I could sing, I knew church songs and because I grew up in a Christian home it was not a difficult task at all," she said. Nomsa said she did all that she did with her life because she wanted to, but it was torture having to pretend when she was at church. "All I wanted was to be at church, praise God, go home and be myself not to pretend to be a perfect person. A lot of the things I did, were 'wrong' before the eyes of certain individuals. The laws we supposedly break in churches were made by people mostly, not what's written in the Bible, "she said.

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Her double lifestyle backfired when got raped by a group of men in 2015 on her way back from a club and she was drunk." I hit rock-bottom. I couldn't tell anyone about my traumatic experience because the first question I was going to be asked was" what was I doing at the club as a Christian? Why do I drink as a child of God". I feel like to say I was depressed is an understatement. It got to a point where it felt like I lived in a very cold place and no one really cared about me, "she added. She begged a lot of the people in tue church to live their truth and let no one decide how they should live their Christian life." Even having a boyfriend is pure evil according to many churches. How is that possible because the Bible orders us to love? Be unapologetic about your lives, focus on Jesus not the people," she concluded.

(more content to follow, as to how she found herself in the church again) 

Source: opera.com
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