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Choosing Your Spouse Or Partner Is Your Sole Responsibility. Let Me Take You Back To The Beginning

eminice 06/29/2020

You've been taught by different preachers that God is the one that chooses your partner for you. You've even read christian books and listened to christian tapes that advice's you to allow God choose your Spouse for you. Some pastors even go as far as choosing partners for their members, claiming it was God that gave them the vision.

There was never a time in the bible that God choose a wife or a husband for anyone. God only presents to you a man or a woman, it is left for you to accept or reject the person. And if God does not choose your partner for you, why should you allow your pastor, prophet, parents, or anyone else choose your partner for you?

The illusion of "it is God who decides for me who my wife or husband is" has left so many unmarried Christians out there frustrated. They are expecting an open vision of their wife or husband in a dream or hear a word of rhema (spoken word), or better still, expecting God to reveal their spouse to a prophet or a pastor.

Hear What The Scripture Says In ( Proverbs 18:22)

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It is he who finds, not he who waits on God to find for him, not he who waits on his pastor to find for him. Finding is your sole responsibility, all you need is to depend on the leading of the Holy Spirit for help and direction.

If God has chosen one individual out of the billon of people on earth just for you and he did so without your knowledge and permission ( and without the other person's ), then why would he not also choose salvation for you that is a much more vital area of your life? The only thing you don't get to choose are your parents. Everything other thing is your choice to make, including your salvation.

If God has chosen one specific individual for you before you were born, and the person eventually dies at some point of his or her life. Does it mean that you're going to remain unmarried for the rest of your life because your "God ordained wife or husband" is no more? or will God go back to the beginning and create another partner for you? or will God take the one he has kept for another and give to you ?

Some of you reading this article will argue that it was God that choose Eve as wife for Adam. That's not true, God did not choose Eve as wife for Adam, God only presented Eve to Adam. Join me as we go back to the bible and to the beginning where it all started.

      Genesis 21:22-251

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My emphasis is on (verse 22), the end part of it. "and he brought her to the man".

i: The scripture didn't say that he brought her to the man and said this is the woman i have chosen for you, take her and marry her

ii: It did not even say she is a nice person, be friends with her for few months and see for yourself if she's worth it or not

If you look at (verse 22) critically, it is saying that God only presented Eve to Adam, he never cajoled Adam to marry Eve. It was the sole responsibility of Adam to make his choice whether or not to marry Eve. "He only brought her to the man", that's all. No further instructions were given as to what to do with her. Is just like someone presenting you a surprised package (gift), you're faced with the choice of either accepting or rejecting the gift.

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In spiritual context, what this verse is saying is that Adam saw a reflection of himself on Eve. Why did i use the word "reflection"? see below.

i: Bone of my bones means one bone out of many bones in a human body.

ii: Flesh is the soft skin of the human body.

Adam is saying that the person standing in front of me is the single bone (part of me) that was removed from my body to form another me called woman. I could see my bone in her as i looked at her. How can i deny me and not marry me? She is my exact counterpart, she is from me, and the completer of me. Without delay he called the bone of his bones and the flesh of his flesh woman because she was taken out of him.

My Final Thoughts On (verse 22 and verse 23) Are These:

i: Eve is God's image or reflection created in his image and after his likeness from the rib of Adam and brought to Adam.

ii: Eve is the replica of Adam created in the image and likeness of God.

Don't get confused. Remember, God created Adam first in his image and after his likeness before he made Eve. This is to tell us that God took one of Adam's rib and created another of his image.

Eve was carrying the Adam God placed inside of her. That's why when God brought (presented) Eve to Adam, he was like for sure have found God's image of me wrapped up in another body. I have found the one that completes me, she carries something inside of her that looks exactly like mine.

My Thoughts On Verse 24

View pictures in App save up to 80% data. The scripture here is saying that a man (referring to both male and female) should only come together and become one flesh if they are perfectly matched, if they are exact counterpart, if they bear one another's image, if they are compatible. And if two people are compatible, they can have a good relationship because they have similar ideas, interest, visions and goals

And shall cleave (be joined) unto his wife : and they shall be one flesh (become one). Consider two sticks of matches in a match box, they fit into the match box because of their compatibility. The match box could contain and accommodate two sticks of matches that were able to stay together under one roof in love, peace, and harmony because they share the same similarities, ideas, and interest.

You will not know peace in your marriage if you marry and live with someone who is not compatible with you under one roof. Someone who does not have similar interest, vision, and ideas as you do, and who does not appreciate you, is not good for you. That is why you shouldn't allow anyone decide for you whom to marry, or tell you that God said this is your wife or husband, it's unscriptural.

Only accept to marry someone that is your exact counterpart, and image bearer. If you noticed, the scripture started (verse 24) with "Therefore". Which means that Adam was explaining the logical result of (verse 24) that happened in ( verse 21, 22, and 23).

My Thoughts On (Verse 25)

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If one is naked, it means the person is not wearing any clothes: Not covered with clothe by clothing. It also means to expose, to open, and to uncover. This is all what we know naked to be from the physical and natural context. Let's look at what naked and ashamed is from the spiritual context, drawing our answers from the physical context.

From The Spiritual Side Of It, It Means That

i. They had all the information of one another before marriage, so their was nothing to be ashamed of.

ii. They knew about their past and still went ahead and married against all odds. They never allowed their past become an hindrance to their marriage and happiness. What was more important to them was that they were compatible

iii. They were very opened to each other, they unraveled secrets, they talked about their family background, their occupations, educational qualifications, health status, and their faith (belief).

iv. The one with a higher pedigree than the other didn't see himself or herself as such, rather they esteemed each other equally because the two shall become one.

While in courtship, you should have first hand information about your spouse to be. The quality of your choice, determines the quality of your marriage. Watch out for signs, if you noticed signs of bad behaviors that are not conformable with your kind of personality, please withdraw.

Bad behaviors are red signs, red signs means danger ahead. They are warning signs with the inscription "beware of dogs". Don't ignore and accommodate indecent behaviors, don't say he/she will change at the altar or after marriage, no one changes at the altar.

My final words are don't allow your parents, pastor, or friends impose anyone on you to marry. Even God will not choose your wife or husband for you. Because if he does, he will be

i. Violating the right of will power he gave to you ( that is the power to choose, or better still, power to make your own decisions).

ii. He will be held accountable if anything goes wrong in your marriage. We are accountable to God, God is accountable to no man. God honors his name above everything.

For me, marriage is a business. And you all know that for a business to work or strive between two parties, the two parties involved in the business

i. Must have an agreement in place

ii. Must trust each other

iii. Must be committed

iv. Must respect and abide by the terms of the agreement

v. Must give the business their full time and attention

vi. Must appreciate the privilege of working together

vii. Must always work as a team

viii. Must be prepared to endure challenges, and patiently work as a team to overcome those challenges

Therefore, i say, marriage is a business of investment that involves your commitment, your time, your attention, your money, your love, your patience, your sacrifice, and your understanding. If you're not prepared to do all of the mentioned yet, please don't marry. And if your wife or husband to be is falling short of the above mentioned, i would advice you do a review on his or her matter before you two go to the altar to take a vow of commitment . Depend on the Holy Spirit to make your decision.

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Source: opera.com
The views expressed in this article are the writer's, they do not reflect the views of Opera News. Read more>>
Top Comments
[email protected] · 07/4/2020
You're absolutely correct
[email protected] · 07/3/2020
Nice write up

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