FICTION: When Life Isn't Fair: Why Do Bad Girls Always End Up With Good Guys?
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In my 32 years of existence, I've always believed in one phrase.. "Be good and goodness will automatically find you". This phrase has shaped my life and my way of doing things from infancy to date. Thinking back now, maybe I should've just lived my life the way I wanted.. maybe I should've joined the "bad girls club".. maybe.. just maybe.
My name is Efua Anderson. My family and close friends call me Efe for short. Like I stated earlier, I'm 32 years. 32 good years of disappointments and tears and despair. Take a seat and journey with me as I take you through my life's events.
I was born and bred in a small fishing community called Sunkwa. Ours was a very close-knit family.. my 2 younger brothers, parents and myself. I thank God daily for the kind of parents He blessed me with because truly, they're the best any child could possibly hope for.
My father was the Pastor in the only church the community could boast of so you can imagine the kind of upbringing we had.. especially me being the first child and only daughter. I was the apple of my parents' eyes. They made sure I lacked nothing and I in turn, led a very exemplary life that was worthy of emulation.
Not to toot my own horn but I was the girl every mother used in advising her daughter. I was involved in almost activity at church.. from being a lead singer in the choir to partaking in the ushering services to heading the ladies wing and being the secretary of the youth ministry. You just name it and I'm there. All these I did with a good heart and a clear mind and not because my father was the Pastor. It was my own personal resolve to serve the Lord and get to know Him for myself.
I completed my Junior High School education with exceptional results and that gave me the opportunity to attend one of the highly ranked Senior High Schools to pursue a General Science course. The last moments to my departure were tough for me, my family, the church and community at large as I hadn't been away from home for even a single day.
I remember the day vividly like it happened yesterday. I reported to school on a bright September Monday morning in the company of my parents and 2 brothers. The church's Elder and Secretary tagged along too.
After saying our goodbyes and with tears in my eyes, I headed towards my dormitory after promising to take good care of myself and to learn to my utmost ability. There wasn't the need to caution me against friends because they already knew my brothers were my only real friends. No, I wasn't antisocial, I just placed clear boundaries on things and made sure they weren't violated.
The first friend I made in school was Vida or let me say, Sister Vida who later became my school mother. She occupied the down part of the double bed while I occupied the top part. She was in her final year and asked me to call on her anytime should I have need of something. She was a General Science student too and that made it comforting as I could count on her notes and other learning materials.
I had a smooth first year stay in school partly because I was a good girl and stayed out of harm's way and partly because she constantly kept an eye out for me. Although a brilliant student, she wasn't someone I'd say was a good girl. I heard she had been in a relationship with the Assistant Boys' Prefect from Form 1 to date. I could only imagine the things they'd engaged in their relationship.
I rounded up my 3 year stay in school a virgin.. just like I started. I was almost always the topic of discussion as I was deemed too rigid and too holy holy (crife). The closest intimate thing a guy got from me was a handshake. It was the opposite for my sitting partner, Ruth. We got along so well except on issues that had to go with morality. I thought like Ruth in the Bible, she'd be modest and of a good nature but no, she often missed classes, attended every party in town and just lived anyhow she wanted. Surprisingly, she passed all class tests and the ultimate exams. Her slogan was "You're only young once so enjoy yourself". It didn't make sense to me but that's Ruth for you.
Admission to Medical School came with it's own exposure and my feeling for belonging. I decided to give relationship a try but on my own terms.. godly terms I should say. Eric was my first boyfriend ever.. a second year pharmacy student. He was a gentleman and we shared the same values, or so I thought. 6 months into the relationship, he started pressuring me to give in to sex. I didn't even think twice. I dropped him like something that was hot and resolved to just focus on my books.
A year later, Bernard completely scattered my resolve. Falling for him was very easy. He did and said all the right things and you could hardly find a fault with him. We went a year and half without any major fight and in my head, he was my last stop. My joy was however cut short when he requested for sex as the gift he wanted for our 2 year anniversary. Sadly, I let him go too. He didn't see reason with me and I also wasn't ready to compromise. There came Akwasi.. at my most vulnerable moment because I was still nursing the broken heart Bernard's departure gave me. He didn't even last a month without making his real intentions known.
You remember my school mother? A year or so after Medical School I received an invitation from her and guess what? She was marrying the Prefect she dated back in secondary school. I was even part of her bridal team. Even Ruth, the party girl Ruth has been made a Missus (Mrs.). With all these happenings, I decided to revise my morals and make them a bit flexible so I could get a man of my own too.
Daniel was his name. We kissed, partied and did sleepovers. My conscience however just couldn't allow me engage in premarital sex so I consented to foreplay only. I didn't want to lose him like I'd lost the others. The guilt I felt afterwards was so overwhelming, I cried for days while asking God for forgiveness. I started being distant towards him till he got the message and broke things up with me. There have others too who I wouldn't even bother to mention because in the end, it all came down to sex.
I've been good my whole life so why is this aspect of my life in shambles? Is it true what they say that all men are the same? Isn't there a godly guy out there who like myself firmly believes that sex is for the married only? Almost all my mates are happily married with kids or in one stable relationship or the other. Here I am, 32 years and all I've got to my name are the Doctor title and several academic certificates.. no husband, no boyfriend and no child. Is it too late? Should I just find someone to impregnate me and console myself with the fact that I at least have a child? When you happen to meet God anywhere, please tell Him Efua Anderson is still waiting for a godly man.
Let's get interactive in the comment section. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and what you would do if you were in Efua's shoes. Please don't forget to like and share.